i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
