i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
