did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
