I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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