I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
