Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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