i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
