entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
