I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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