Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
