Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
