So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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