Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
