Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
