i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
