You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize