How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
