Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
