My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
