How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
