How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
