yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize