If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
