oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
