I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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