they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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