whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
