I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
