i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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