he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
