so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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