So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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