My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
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