R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
