If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
