i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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