Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
