Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
