I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
only if we run a train.
done.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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