Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
