You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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