There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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