She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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