ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
