What a fucking waste of an outfit
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
