I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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