Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
