Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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