It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
