Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i think i just lost a toe
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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