Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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