Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
