i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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