So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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