did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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